Scenes From A Marriage

One of my favorite films of all time is Scenes From A Marriage, a Swedish TV drama (think The Sporanos or Angels in America) from 1973 about the disintegration of a marriage between Johan and Marianne, a couple living in Sweden. I watched the series for the first time after I was divorced. There were several areas that have touched me and will remain with me for the rest of my life.

One scene in particular has always resonated with me. The main characters have another couple over for supper, and it is revealed that they are on the brink of divorce. Part of the monologue (by Peter, in regards to his verbally abusive, soon-to-be-ex-wife, Katarina) is terribly tragic:

"August Strindberg once said "could there be anything more terrifying than a husband and wife who hate each other?" What do you say? Child abuse could possibly be worse. But then again, Katarina and I are children. Deep down, Katarina is a little girl who cries because no one comforts her when she falls. And in the opposite corner, I'm a little boy who cries because Katarina can't love me."

I see this sort of predicament happen to many married couples. I was mentally and physically abused by my ex husband, but psychological abuse is often the favored form of abuse these days. Anything and everything is used as an excuse for their accountability to their commitment and responsibility to marriage and family-even acting like a tantrumy child and blaming "alleged" mental instability issues on the rapid disintegration of their own commitment to their marriage. Speaking as someone who has had bipolar disorder for well over a decade, this pitiful excuse is bullshit. Abuse is abuse is abuse, and you cannot blame your mental health on your choice to abuse your family. It's a load of crap and those of us who do have mental diseases see right through this shallow bullshit. Perhaps if people realized that a marriage isn't something for children and that they ARE NOT children, they would respect their marriage more, and truly if they had a spine and any sense of real maturity, they would seek help for their mental instability and counsel for their marriage. After all, thirty-something is a ridiculous age to start behaving like a spoiled, bratty, petulant child. Especially in a marriage.

Just sayin'...